wrangling life... and clay

The past month has been a busy one. The start of 2016 did not unfurl like I had imagined it would. January was going to be a month for rest, reflection and planning. I was going to take some time to work on new ideas for my pottery, plan the direction of my business in the new year and work on my Spring/Summer catalog. There was a repainting project that I wanted to tackle in the living room (and did actually manage to get to... more on that soon!). My fiancé and I were planning on putting some serious efforts into getting his side business/hobby, Buster's Bitters off the ground. I also was hoping to do some minimal planning for my wedding that is potentially happening at the end of this year, if not sooner.

Things got sidetracked a bit, as life often does. One week into the new year I was contacted by a handful of stores that were eager to carry my pots. What a surprise. I had weeks worth of work to tackle and was trying to get as much of done before the second week of February because I was leaving for New Orleans to celebrate Mardi Gras with my family.

Upon my return, in the midst of finishing orders, I was contacted by a local potter here in Athens, who had just opened a small group studio and had a space available if I was interested in signing on. After a couple days of weighing pros & cons I decided to move forward with this decision. I bought my own pottery wheel last week and spent the weekend breaking it in out on my back porch. This week and next will be all about moving and transitioning to the new space. I am excited and can barely wait to see what direction this takes me in my work and life.

back to my roots

I haven't dyed my hair in 16 months and that is, by far, a record. Coloring my hair started around the tender age of 12 and I can count how many times I allowed my natural color to grow in over the course of my adult life on just one hand. And though I noticed my first grey hair while still in high school, that was never the reason for why I chose to dye my hair. Changing the color of my hair was, for me, like changing my outfit, my persona, my style. I tried everything from bleached blonde to blue black and all the shades that fell in between. It was the crowning part in reinventing myself from time to time. After over two decades, it also most definitely became a habit.

Three years ago I finally started to get fed up with the habit. It started feeling more like a chore and an expense in a fight to keep from looking older. Honestly, on the brink of turning 40 I wasn't sure I was ready to look... old. I blogged about it as a way to hold myself to letting my natural hair grow in which, by the way, did not work. I did manage to make it through most of that year and inspired my own mother to ditch the dye but sometime in the Fall I caved for color and got some pretty dramatic lowlights put in. The habit was real and for me, not easy to kick. The year following, I kept the coloring to a minimum but still was highlighting, ombré-ing, and balayage-ing the greys away. Then in the summer of 2014 I relocated.

Changing my surroundings was a huge shake up for me. For the first time every thing in my life felt different. It became a priority, a mission even, to find out what it meant to be myself, authentically, and my hair was absolutely a part of that. In October of 2014 I colored my hair for the last time. After three months of grow-out, I cut off 10 inches. Around the six month mark I started feeling better, more confident about all the silver hair that was shining through. Currently I am at 16 months and have about 7" of silver grown out. Some days I love my gr-ombré and other days I want to chop all the colored hair that is left off. But I'm enjoying my hair long again and not ready to part with more length.

Full disclosure - it feels a little silly writing a post about my hair but I wanted to because I think this is a challenging experience for a lot of women. It certainly was for me and I'm gaining a great deal of insight along the way. This is really about so much more than hair color. It is about accepting who you are, being true to yourself and choosing health over vanity. Sharing stories is inspirational and helps to get through the tough moments. Doing whatever I want with my hair is a privilege and being alive at this time when ideas are being challenged about what "older" women are expected look like is exciting. I remember looking at photographs of my grandmothers at my parents wedding and thinking they both looked so matronly and mature yet they were only in their thirties! It is amazing how far we have come in 40 years. And cheers to the women who have embraced their natural hair color all along with ease and grace!

This is what I can tell you about getting through the grow-out. It's not for the the undecided or uncommitted. You need to be ready to do it and it may take a few tries before you feel like it's the right time. Do it for yourself and don't let other people talk you out of it, most especially your hairdresser. Unless you cut all of your hair off and start with a pixie, you are looking at 1.5 - 2 years or more before your transformation to a total silver fox is complete. This process is lesson in patience and a journey of discovery, embrace it and embrace yourself throughout it. Prepare yourself for the positive feedback. Surprisingly, I have been getting more compliments on my silver hair than any other style or color I have worn in my life. It feels good. Literally. Since I let my hair go natural, it is much softer, shinier and healthier looking. Even the bottom part that still has color. As for looking older? Well, I am. What can I do about it other than try to be as happy and healthy as I can be. This decision to stop chemically treating my hair is a step in that direction.

December 2015 - 15 months of grow-out

There have been a bevy of ladies that I have looked to for moral support and inspiration throughout this trek so far. To name a few key players... Sarah Harris of British Vogue, author and designer, Annika Von Holdt, grey hair adventurer, Susan Paget, stylist and beauty maven, Linda Rodin, models Cindy Joseph, Kristen McMenamy and Yasmina Rossi. And of course I continue to find inspiration on regular basis on Pinterest and from my own mother. In the spirit of it all I'd like to leave you with some images of ladies young and old in all their silver, grey and snowy white glory...

hitting reset

The party that is New Year's Eve has never completely charmed me, though the ritual of taking a moment to pause, reflect and look ahead is one I find quite compelling. This year, like many of the years before, New Year's Eve was a late night of work. I came home tired and went straight to bed. Today started slowly. The morning was gray and coming off a week straight of rainy weather, it felt cooler than the previous days. I stayed in bed long enough to watch my fiancé fall back asleep and then left the bed, dressed and went to the market for eggs and black eyed peas. After cooking breakfast (baked eggs over garlicky kale and spinach drizzled with heavy cream and goat cheese) I cleaned up and got to work on a giant pot of broth made from root vegtables, two chicken carcasses and some left over lamb chop bones I had in the freezer from Christmas dinner. Once that was starting to heat, I placed the black eyed peas along with chopped onion and garlic cloves into a crockpot, covering it all with water and set it on high.

Resolutions have never worked well for me though I have noticed a habit forming in the past few years of setting intentions and mapping out goals for my life in the year ahead. This process of manifesting begins in early December and continues right through into the coming year. I believe I am getting better at it at each go-around. Last year I was filled with a lot of ideas and plans that mainly centered around putting more time and energy into Forged & Found, my place to be creative. Dedicating more time to throwing pottery and sharing my work became my priority. I chose to be confident and give it my all and see what kind of feedback I received from not only other people but from the universe. I was exposing a part of myself as a test to see if I had the desire and commitment to really express myself as an artist and not just think about or talk about myself as one. A lot of wonderful, positive things came from doing that and I am happy to continue on this creative journey.

This past year there were a few things that I touched on that I would like to revisit and go deeper with. I spent a good amount of time searching for healing. I was and am still seeking an antidote for a skin issue and allergies I have been dealing with for sometime now. I deeply feel the root of this particular problem starts with a digestive issue and I plan to continue experimenting with different supplements, diets and detoxing practices. I also plan on returning to the yoga mat, something I definitely feel the benefits from when I practice regularly. Tomorrow I start a 30 day yoga practice with the help of an online mentor. I hope this daily ritual will help to reset things - my way of thinking and feeling, cutting loose some of my poorer habits and moving toward being the best, most authentic version of myself.

January is my month to sort out what will not support me in this reset and to consciously bring in what will. I have found great inspiration from the lovely Kirsten Rickert of Magnesium Blue and the social media fast she is taking on during the first month of this year. I have decided to join in with her. I ditched Facebook in 2010 when I realized I was pretty much addicted to it. The final straw was stumbling across some information about someone in the newsfeed that I wish I hadn't read. Then and there I deleted my account and never looked back. Presently I feel it's time to check in with myself and break the habit of sometimes spending an embarrassing amount of time looking at my phone, working on Instagram posts, scrolling endlessly through feeds, mindlessly pinning. Instead of waking up and grabbing the phone I want to start seizing the day and pursue more noble pursuits like writing, which makes me incredibly clear-headed and happy. On the flip side of writing there is reading. If I spent the time I waste scrolling through my phone apps on reading, I would have consumed a minimum of 12 novels last year. I look forward to spending as much time as possible developing new skills within my pottery pursuits and designing a new collection for spring. I plan to seriously comb through my belongings, most intensely my clothing and accessories, and pare down to only what fits, flatters and has value because it brings me joy. That is a task I am slightly terrified of, to be honest, but now feels like the right time to tackle it. There are travel plans to be made. There are friends and family to see.

Reset. Intentions. Manifesting. Letting go. Growing.
Happy New Year :)

the long and short of it

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life."

― Coco Chanel

After weeks of meditating on it, I decided today was the day I would cut my hair. It has been slightly over two years since I last had a proper chop and the ten inches that I lost in one swift snip in front of my bathroom mirror this morning was indeed a weight lifted. When it comes down to it, I am a long-haired girl at heart. I enjoy wearing my hair long, caring for it, twisting and curling it into fanciful up-dos. I am one who believes that hair holds power, histories, stories, memories, experiences, meaning and definition. Sometimes that intensity and heaviness needs to be lightened or lost all together. I was ready for cutting, for letting go. I was ready to start being who I really am. Presently.

Two Januarys ago I posted one of my most popular pieces on the blog, a little story about how I was finally going to commit to letting my natural hair grow in, greys and all. That lasted perhaps a maximum of six months. There was the lure of fresh highlights, an opportunity for free salon hair color and the astonishing amount of silver strands coming in to divert my plan. Then again, about three months ago I decided to stop with the dyes, toners and chemicals and let my hair be. All was going well until recently when I became fixated on the way my dark roots streaked with silver looked so radically different than the auburn ends flecked with gold. I couldn't fathom keeping all that processed hair while going through this. I also realized I needed to tone down all the brassiness that summer left behind and start caring for my new hair so I began using a blue shampoo and conditioner. Immediately my hair felt decidedly softer, shiny and silky and pleasantly just a tad darker and deeper. The redness became cooler.

Recently a few of my girlfriends, some who have had very long hair for an even longer time, went short. I felt extremely inspired by them. I was charged by my recent move and the coming New Year and a deep feeling of wanting to honor my true self. I collected pictures on Pinterest. I mentally prepared myself. I enjoyed wearing my long hair loose and free for the past couple weeks. I woke up today and felt ready. Since the age of 14 I haven't spent more than six months without my hair bleached, dyed, permed or highlighted. I am excited to see what transpires and believe that this effort at letting my hair grow in naturally will finally be a successful one.

in with the new

Cheers and Happy New Year!

After a long night serving food and drinks, popping corks and diffusing noisemakers and merrymaking, I have finally and happily made it to the first day of 2015. It's been a purposefully lazy day. I welcome it after the bustle of a week back in Philadelphia over the Christmas holiday, the first time for seeing my friends and family after moving to Georgia six months ago. Later today I plan to take my first stab at some traditional black eyed peas, have a little bonfire and toast this year ahead. I feel optimistic and supercharged with possibility. I look forward to manifesting that energy creatively, putting most of my time and efforts into Forged & Found and The Peregrine Papers.

See you soon!

peering into the past

Last week, on a beautiful autumn afternoon I got out of the house and explored some of the oldest, most storied homes in Athens. My photo essay tour has been posted on The Broad Collective and you can see it for yourself here.

home is where the hearth is

I have been in my new home for just over a week now. It is amazing how fast time rushes by when all you are busy doing is unpacking, organizing, settling and making sense of your new surroundings. I haven't even started working yet, or for that matter even began the search for work! Though through all the haste and stress of relocating I have been happy, happier than I can remember for some time now. You see, this is the first time I have ever done anything like this and now that it is complete I have a new and quite enormous sense of accomplishment.

The few months proceeding this shift, I have been planning and working for July to be a time to pause, reset, explore and assimilate. I am truly savoring it and trying to make the most of each day. Beyond unpacking and setting up my belongings in my new home, I have managed to explore the immediate neighborhood in small bursts and spend plenty of time getting comfortable at home, most especially in the kitchen.

Here is what the first week of new town living has looked like...

finding light in winter's darkness

After more than a month brake from these Papers I felt an urge to do an update and take a quiet Sunday night at home and turn it into a rambling blog post. These past weeks I've been busy. And lazy. And moody. It's that time of year. Right? I have had the sense that the seasons are crashing into me and time is slipping through my fingers and any and all holiday spirit got lost somewhere in the rush. Somehow I have managed to fill up every day on my calendar with a feisty mix of work, errands, social engagements and holiday celebrations from now until the first weekend in January and I am not really quite sure how I am going to make it through. Though I know I will. Gracefully.

Oh, but do I have my eye on the first Sunday of 2014.

But back to these last six weeks… Spring cleaning is not just for Spring. I love tackling it most of all in the Autumn when the air is crisp and cool and there's a sense of renewal and scholastic fervor that sends me into an organizing frenzy from switching out Summer's wardrobe in favor of structured silhouettes and cozy knits, taking stock of the pantry, rearranging furniture and flanneling the mattress right down to buying new pens and notebooks. As silly as they sometimes seem I know that these chores and projects are exactly what keep me from the inevitable wallowing that threatens to take place once Winter starts its icy dance. Sign me up for the camp of A Clean Home Is A Happy Home.

Halloween found me with neither plans nor work so I donned a wig and some spidery lashes at the last minute to make a minimal effort and went out into the night to catch some of the sport and spirit of it all and possibly a glass of something sparkling.

Within a couple weekends of wigging out, I became a godmother to my little nephew which meant more to me than I expected it would. I even personally took on the roll of this little guys Art Benefactor and started a savings account in his name to bestow on him throughout his life's artistic endeavors.

Which synchronically inspired me to pull out my water colors and start painting again.

Around the same time that the paint and brushes appeared, I purchased a new/old 35mm camera. Its a 1960 Yashica Lynx 1000 I was lucky enough to find through the wacky world of Instagram from Amy Redden of The Vintage Fern. There has yet to be film laced through those pretty little spools but that's on this weeks to-do list. I would love to be snapping away through the holidays and so look forward to getting back into the motions of using, devoloping and collecting film/photographs.

Baking is something that I turn to repeatedly to snap me out of my electronic and social media induced ADD and restore not only focus, but also a serious sense of calm and meditativeness. For Thanksgiving I forwent the custardy cream and spicy pumpkin variety of pie in favor of something bittersweet and chocolaty. This divine confection came directly from blogger and traveling wares caravan shop owner, Kara Rosenlund. I must make full disclosure that her mouthwatering photographs sold me faster than the actual recipe. Until I finally tasted the heavenly finished product of course. This is definitely going into my dessert repertoire.

Just before Thanksgiving I had a delightful diversion when my beau visited me for a few weeks and we spent days traipsing around town like tourists and our evenings dining our way through every available cuisine this fine city has to offer.

Within six weeks time I watched kaleidoscopic colors emerge from the spent summer greenery. That bursting brilliance of Fall was lost all too quickly when a windy rain storm blew in at the end of November letting Winter's fingers be heard tapping at the door.

And then early December brought a first snowfall and soon after, a second. Nothing too unmanageable. A perfectly contained tiny blizzard that seemed to melt away as fast as it fell. It was a pleasant surprise, fun and festive while it lasted. Real winter weather this early in the season has been rare in this neck of the woods for so very long now.

And because this time of year lends itself to firing up the oven and I enjoy baking, it was time for whipping up a batch of cookies. Plus I was having house guests. And my beau was leaving and I needed to put a stash in his carry on. I gathered the left over chocolate from the tart I made and whipped up this batch of chocolate chip walnut cookies based on the recipe I found on the Smitten Kitchen site. It's a winner. These cookies made everybody happy and didn't manage to linger on the serving plate very long. Another keeper for the recipe log.

To kick off the holiday season I went to the 700 Club awards which is really no more than an annual excuse to get dressed up and celebrate a little corner bar and all the strange and sozzled regulars that keep the register ringing. It's always a fun night of friends, dancing and lots of laughs. And that is exactly what I needed right about then.

In my end of year creative flurry that I seem to be having, I started a new endeavor. Lino block cutting and printing is something I've admired since high school but never stopped to try it. I have finally taken a stab at it, if you will, and promise that this new project shall be revealed in short order. Presently though, I can not stop carving out lino blocks.

The film festival was a couple months back and not as impressive as years past. Since then I have been trying to get out to see films on a more regular basis, the last one I caught being the new Bettie Page documentary, Bettie Page Reveals All. I enjoyed it immensely, as I do most docs. With it being narrated in her own voice, her story held more weight and the mystery of where she was after dropping out of public was revealed. I found it to be a telling story of a regular woman looking to simply make a living and make something of her life in an era where female choices were extremely limited. It's fascinating how much of a cultural icon she has become.

Besides spending as much time as possible snuggling up with this fur ball...

I have carved a little holiday card and have been stamping and embellishing my little heart out so that

... I can get out early in this cold early December morning to post them before returning home and getting to work on some last minute Christmas gifts.

Happy Solstice friends!